Recently, I experienced a situation where someone was impatient with me. Some things are people’s projections, emotions, and patterns. But this was a wonderful opportunity to mirror to me how to love deeply and what impatience feels like.
Part of this life journey, I believe, is to remove the barriers to being LOVE – the purest essence of BEing (an inner freedom).
It did not feel nice having this person lose their patience with me. I noticed the mind triggered with flashes of thoughts of not being good enough, not seen. It felt icky – it did not feel like love.
We have all experienced someone being impatient with us, and we have been impatient with others. This is something we will most likely experience more of during the holiday season. You will see it while driving, in jobs, in relationships and family dynamics, waiting in line for something, with our pets, and even impatience with ourselves (especially with injuries and sickness).
Impatience is tied to a time constraint and wanting a certain outcome rather than full acceptance of what is. We feel tension in the body and mind (stress), and this tension overspills outwardly onto others.
At that moment when I felt this person’s impatience, there was a shutdown of mutual respect, spaciousness, and honouring the present moment.
Love is spacious! Love is patience!
The Universe is infinite wisdom and patience. We have free will and choice. Now that is LOVE.
You could do one layer of cultivating patience – which is noticing when you are impatient and then trying to change it. This is great.
But there is a deeply transformative way: When you are in the present moment, in the arena of spaciousness, the field of the infinite and timelessness, there is no concept of time constraints or control for a certain outcome. You connect heart to heart with the other being, listening to their words and energy, and most importantly offering them unconditional love and spaciousness to be as they are in this very moment. You flow with life and see the interconnectedness of all of life. There is a caveat – patience does not mean being tolerant of abhorrent behaviour, which isn’t respect for the essence of you.
Patience with yourself is full acceptance of what is arising in this moment – emotions, body, and all. Giving yourself space to be deeply held by YOU.
How do we cultivate Patience? The Turtle
It does not come by changing others and circumstances to bend to your will or to the idea of what this moment should look like.
It comes from changing our energy and frequency.
Rest offers the wonderful ability to release tension from the body that lends to impatience. When we don’t take time for stillness and rest, stress will accumulate.
As soon as our bodies and minds are contracting, it’s time to move within, rest, accept, and re-connect with the calm, presence inside.
Think of the turtle. A turtle moves slowly with life, it faces a lot of hardships (especially after first hatching), but it’s persistent. When I went to Sedona in 2015, a therapist gave me a turtle necklace and reminded me to move slowly. I now have a turtle ornament in my car to remind myself to have more patience. It’s also a wonderful symbol to turn inwards when life is challenging to gain more insight, patience and strength.
We cultivate patience (timelessness) in our yoga and meditation practices. When we are in Savasana, we may experience the deepest feeling of being suspended in timelessness. In meditation and pranayama, we cultivate patience with our mind (when it loves to wander). Restorative Yoga helps us to ease tension in the body. I often tell my students to take their time in setting up their Rest Nest – setting up with deep care. As well as to take their time in transitioning out of the pose. Journaling helps us to objectify what we are experiencing, which brings a wonderful ability to cultivate acceptance of what is. Yoga Nidra is a dissolution of opposites, being a witness of images and sensations, which teaches us patience while being embraced by the timelessness, infinite Universe, and Divine Mother.
Ayurveda and Impatience
Ayurveda can lend itself to helping us with impatience. Impatience is indicative of Pitta being out of balance. Balancing the pItta dosha can bring balance to the body, mind and spirit. We can do this with many aspects, but here are a few:
- Not overindulging (which the holidays amplify – overindulging in buying and eating),
- Cooling yoga practices (forward bends and twists),
- Eating less spicy foods,
- Bringing in more spaciousness throughout the day,
- Adding cooling herbs (such as fennel, mint and coriander),
- Doing less hot yoga and more regular temperature yoga.
Before you honk the horn, take your stress out on someone, and lose your patience…
Take a moment to reflect – does this moment of impatience show them love? How can I come to stillness, accept this moment as it is, connect with the timeless, infinite essence of all things, and embody patience?
